Another Valentine’s Day is over!

The feast of LOVE has become one huge materialistic event ranging from bunches of roses to big soft toys and puffy balloons. Sadly like balloons deflate within a couple of days, we might say the same about relationships, or shall I better call them simply encounters?

I do not wish to be perceived as sarcastic or even worse cynical but having been single for a couple of months has made me come to terms with the current dating scene. It has indeed become a feat trying to find someone who has the same ideology in terms of a relationship.

The most common idea seems to start with a Swipe Right and ends with ghosting after a night of hot passionate lusty sex. Is this what the world has really come to? Is this the way we want to tackle the grown up world?

You scratch my back and I scratch yours. Well, better not mention any scratching because that immediately takes me to the other kind of scratching that is possible when changing so many partners!

Oh well, let me take you back to my teenage dreams. I have always wanted a big family and I thought I would live in a big house with a lovely husband and some pets. This is indeed the classical fairytale as some might refer to it. When I started dating again in my thirties, I realised I needed to shut up on this dream as it had a tendency to scare off guys. Some called me “intense”. Some were even offensive saying: “why should I buy a whole cow when I only need some milk?” And there you go, I kept meeting all sorts of men whether this was online or through social events. I must say that I was always more successful in social events as the whole online thing gets to me. I hate that kind of feeling when you’re seeing the other person “typing” and yet the message seems to take ages to be finalised. Face to face has always had its advantages. You get to observe the body language. You can easily get to see how quick the other person is to respond back within a context and best of all, the other person could never be a fake profile, a scammer or someone who asks for your photos to be able to use them to scam others afterwards.

But in these past years I have learnt many things about myself and others. First of all, I have learnt that I should never be afraid to show what I really want and especially not to settle for anything less than that. Every time, you compromise with yourself and your own principles, it’s a pinch deep within that will only take you longer to heal and get out of that same dark patch. I have also understood that every person that I met who either described me as intense, obsessed or rigid was indeed not seeing my true soul. That same person was attracted to my spirit and yet was afraid of that same fierceness. The worst of all was when I listened and succumbed to all these negative thoughts and words. Until there comes a time when as a woman I have learnt to embrace my scars and not be afraid to look at myself in the mirror.

After all why should I be afraid of wanting a loving healthy relationship?

Sometimes I listen to love songs and lose myself in imagery whilst hearing words like “I will protect you” or “I will complete you”. Do I really need protection after all that I have endured in life? Do I really have something missing? Do I really need a partner to complete me? Is society’s norm phasing that allures me to want this or do I want it because of other attractions?

It’s the latter. It’s the sharing of two beautiful souls that come together after a long day at work. It’s the combined smell of perfume and sweat that find no inhibitions to declare who they are and what they symbolise. It’s the maturity of two people who dream in the same direction. It’s the fighting spirit combined in front of life’s tough obstacles. It’s the silly fuzzy feeling that takes both to childhood, to playfulness and cute temptations. It’s the insight of powerful dreams that can overcome all limitations just by the power of thought. It’s the fragility exposed without fear of being judged or discarded immediately. It’s a simple fight that ends in a subtle line between giggles and tears.

And in the end, there is nothing wrong to admit that sleeping in someone’s arms is comforting almost as much as hugging that special someone and thinking that time just flew by in a matter of minutes.

It’s a pat on the head, it’s a massage on the shoulders, it’s the continuous playing with the neck and shoulders that gives one another goosebumps ... it’s a simple sign that it’s one small gesture yet an enormous wave of love that I augur to all, at least once in a lifetime.

It doesn’t come easy but when it does, work for it and hold on to it tight as special persons with your same vision are rare!